When you go to college, it can be difficult to say goodbye to your friends. The good news is this is not the end! Your friendship can continue to flourish. Whether you still talk to your high school friends every single day or are now taking on a new type of friendship style, it is all OK! Welcome to growing up.
A few different things can happen when you leave. Your friendships might stay exactly the same, especially if you are within driving distance of your friends. Your friendships might even be strengthened if you are more communicative as you go through the triumphs and trials of being in college.
Or, someone you talked to every day might become someone you catch up with once a month when you schedule a time to talk. Always remember it is also OK if your interests change and you outgrow a friend or two. Students often change the most in their four years of undergrad as they discover themselves. There is nothing wrong with setting your eyes on the prize and reevaluating your time and priorities. The new you may not appeal to your friends back home, and you may not always choose to continue to rely on or confide in your high school friends (nor they you). Take comfort in knowing that friends can be there for a lifetime, for a reason, or for a season. It’s OK to move forward.
The best advice I ever received to sustain a friendship when I was missing someone and the distance between us was daunting was this: Make whomever you are missing proud. Spend all that energy thinking of good news to tell them the next time you talk. There is nothing like watching your friends become someone they always wanted to be and being able to support them at any capacity along the way.
Some tips for staying in touch:
1. Remember their birthday.
This is a great way to show your friend you are thinking about them. Whether you send a package to their dorm or post a happy-birthday picture on Instagram, effort is effort.
2. Start a conversation about their new life.
For example: I always have that one friend who I get a text from after I’ve shared I’m in a new relationship who lets me gush about the new guy in my life. It shows that they are keeping tabs on me and care about who is caring about me!
3. Show your SUPPORT!
The next time you hear about them participating in a charity project or acing that bio final, let them know you’re rooting for them, near or far.
The reality of it is, you will be busy, and so will they. They might be living it up one night and getting up early to study for finals. Be patient, be kind, and don’t let anyone hold you back.
OLIVIA ELLISON
is a senior at UNC majoring in Exercise Science. She plans to earn her Ph.D. and research concussions. In the meantime, she works with UNC's Division I sports teams, participates in Fellowship of Christian Athletes, answers her friends' requests for advice and goes about 100 miles per hour!
